publish date
Jun 10, 2021
last edit
Jun 14, 2021 5:22 AM

//therein lies a process of demonstrating aptitude first before gaining the permission to explore art. to only given the right to truly experiment after earning self-confidence and goodwill with a listenership. otherwise, the work will risk being misunderstood. people may dismiss an most eccentric creations as uneducated noise, even though it is probably my best, most idiosyncratic, innovative work.

//to force me to first achieve a level of proficiency in my craft before I escape from it. I would not be where I am with the guitar if I decided to only learn strange techniques without first learning normative guitar playing. If I bypassed the social game and went straight into my own game, I may feel like a recluse or someone who is lying to myself. I must prove myself to myself too.

to know I am above it than to feel like I am are below it. I cannot decide to break music theory if I first do not understand music theory. I must know something first before I can be dismissive of it.

The irony is that the current paradigm of music and guitar playing was only cultivated by those who stepped outside of the normative approach of their time. Everything we cherish today likely faced a period of ridicule and resistance. By nature, distortion is noise, yet somehow we have learned to love it. And perhaps a part of this resistance is groupthink. I may secretly like what I hear, but then get drowned out by the phantom collective, externally and internally.


And there will inevitably be casualties along this path. (speak in general) Those who do explore material outside of the circle get ridiculed, shamed, mocked, stepped on, and dismissed. Reputations erode. Loss of listener base ensues. Accusations of pretension are thrown. A fear that nobody will ever take me seriously anymore gets instilled. It may take several years or decades before one's ideas become understood.

The worst fear I have as an artist is to be misunderstood. And I hope not to be a casualty. I must navigate my path carefully. It may take a certain disassociation to do this, to follow through on one's idea that flies in the face of social resistance. It means I have to trust myself.