existential_271

existential_271

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Jul 15, 2021 7:35 AM
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where is my face?

as i stare into a mirror- i take my right index finger and slowly point it closer and closer to where i think my face is.

but i cannot seem to locate it. i can point to my eyes. i can touch my nose. i can feel my lips. i can pull my ears. but i cannot seem to find my face.

truly speaking, my self perception relies a lot on my face. but the irony is that i can never see my face, only a mirror.

my identity and self perception are latched on to a hologram in some sense. a projection of what i think my face looks like. it is in some sense not real.

so there comes two conclusions. i can reduce who i am fown into nothingness, or i can expand myself to include wveryrhing that is in my awareness. i am nkthing or everyrhinf.

it seems as though my face is decrealized, with a multifaceted array of elements that comprise my face, but i still treat it as one singular entity.

in some sense, my face is like a ghost, because i cannot touch it, but i can see it.perhaos my brain, through evolution, has been conditioned to render faces from certain patterns of objects.

if we were to break down these objects..and zoom in, we will not find a face. there is no face.

as you reduce everything down, you see that there will always be smaller things to make it up.

if i stare at my hand, where is it? where is "hand"?. there is no hand. it is a phantom of an object. a conceptual framework.

in some sense identity and our views of the world are phantom like, not actually material.

can i ever truly ever breakmyself down and find myself?

like breaking down everything that makes someone someone. white, beard, glasses, 6'1", etc etc etc. every angle of his face (are there infinite?)

can i truly ever break down and parse what makes you, you?

hints at multiverse and devs- like it may be a jesus from a history, but not our jesus from our history. a hair difference. but it still wouldn't be our jesus.

truly speaking, i am faceless. what happens if i pour acid on my face, will i become less of me? my self perception may die but i will still be alive ironically.

also this is a bit of a digression..but even a hair difference is a significant difference, for each piece of hair has millions of par to does in it. who is anyone to say a piece of hair is small and jupiter is big? for each entity is an entire universe with its own system of existence, a harmony of different entities working to produce an existence of an entity. is there truly a big or a small?

so for joe to measure himself on a spectrum of "middle aged white male" would turn him into some sort of paralyzed puppet of that, and would cause an infinite regress if he considered himself just that. but since identity is irreducible, this escapes the infinite regress since self awareness is endless. there is no completion of self awareness, no finish line, that would tip over the existence of someone and be swallowed in by self awareness. joe is not paralyzed because he is free and open ended, unbounded, and if anything, nested in love, not in a fixed pattern of being.