the decanter on my kitchen island glows with beauty.; as i close the cupboard on my kitchen island in my apartment, i have a thought of how amazing this all is. as imagine if i were a poor kid in a 3rd world country, or if i was held captive in a prison or some detention torture camp- all these things around me are amazing and profound - not just in terms of gratitude but existentially as well. like closing the cupboard is actually profound- the way it's shaped, the sound it makes. it's function. mundanity is an illusion. everything is profound.
it's just that because everything is profound and amazing- it's impossible for ones attention to recognize and acknowledge this in everytbing. because since within everything is a universe of profundity and unique patterns and functions. this i am forced to pick and choose what to put my attention on. there is a bandwidth of attention. if i had infinite time and was omniscient and omnipotent (perhaps i am- since i may be in multiple bodies with different interests and perspectives- and thus i am the entire universe self exploring and observing and suffused in every crack and corner of the cosmos) i would explore everything- because everything is jewel like. even the ugliness. the fact that it exists as an apparent phenomena within the domain of existence is enough of a precursor and warrant to explore its depth..it's source.
but alas i am a limited human soul. i can only give heed to so much. i wish i could study everything. eat everything. have sex with everything. listen to and engulf myself in all the symphonies. but in a meta sense, i am.
[erhaps this is why i created myself in multiple bodies, such that, throiugh a seperate vessell consciosuness, i am been given more bandwidth of attention.
Perhaps a separate essay:
This is why imitation is suicide, because to copy someone elses work (artisitically, etc) or to want to be just like that person is to miss the point of one’s precious unique existence. You, in a very real sense, are that person. And as such, to imitate that person is a folly, a farce. It negates yourexistence and cheapens the bandwidth of attention. it would literally be a waste of time. a duplicity. The failure to misunderstand that we are all one has bred countless unnecessary pitfalls of humanity. We get jealous, hatred, resentmeful ec. When truly speaking its all against onself. - perhaps this is part of the “we are all one and its implications essay”. So to listen to one’s true voice is to listen to god itself. It is paramount that you do. It is paramount that you have a unique bandwidth of attention. Lt others do what they think is impotant. But dont let that drown out what you think is important to you. To have a unique bandwidth of attention is the very reason for one’s existence. This narrow frame you espouse, is YOU, and is to be explored fully. Not to imitate anothers, not to succumb to their desires or belief of what they think your bandwidth ought to be. Follow your bandwidth of attention..down the rabbit hole. You will find secrets that will change the world.
another essay idea perhaps:
everything is amazing/profound - why is closing the cupboard mundane, and something else not?