existential_135

existential_135

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DARK
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Jul 5, 2021 10:47 PM
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What I went through in the acid trip was a black hole.

Perhaps panic attacks have event horizons too. A point of no return. When I’m in a panic attack, there is a trigger point, that’s the first horizonn. I get derealized, things spin, and im in some sort of test.

The acid trip seems to have recalibrated me in some sense.

As I sit here in Singapore, I feel a greater appreciation of there being something rather than nothing.

  • a fear of a discontinous subjectivity. A fear of feeling an on/off switch in some sense.
  • i learned that annihalation is a self fulfilling prophecy

-see document you wrote on it..saved in documents i think.

in 2015 i dropped acid and it alteted my life forever. several months ths post acid i had several panic attacks, flashbacks and existential dreadful thoughts that i could not escape from, and i still can't escape from. i thought i had become inept, non functional and had ruined my life. these essays are thoughts and discoveries from that acid trip

it seemed like the acid trip answered questions i had no questions for - and after the trip i became infiltrated with these questions.