existential_029

existential_029

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Aug 13, 2021 6:46 PM
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the feeling of the locality of arm is ITSELF an appearance in consciousness. like not just the arm itself, but the LOCALITY of it. the feeling of “it being down there to the right” ITSELF is an appearance in consciousness. this is mind blowing. that is to say, the idea that i am up here, looking down there, is not true. this whole process is itself an appearance in consciousness. the feeling of locality is part of the chain of conscious experience.

i finally understand what sam means when he says ‘everything that you notice is arising in the same space of consciousness’.

consciousness is neither here nor there…its underground…precedes all locality in some sense…hidden..mysterious and existential. you cant see consciousness…you are it.

although you can get out of your head and go into your body. so locality itself can be shifting and changing. but that may be congruent to this.

you can apply this concept to music too.

wen often think of beginning, middle and end for example.

but these localities are simply appearances of a deeper substrate. the idea of beginning is itself an appearance in consciousness, the idea of middle (in addition to it being simply relative, and/or it having to do with memory) is an appearance in consciousness, etc.

fucking mindblowing.

I then wonder…

You can apply this to the signature of god. Like god is something you can never truly FACE in front of you, it is always something outside of oneself, and away from oneself, somewhere else - i wonder if this signature of locality IS god itself. That GOD is THAT which can never be observed, for to observe would go against the very rule of its own signature. That GOD, and its appearance inc consciousness as something not directly appearing, but implicity and indirectly appearing, is ITSELF a property of god itself.

so for god to appear before us would ruin that signature. it would cease to be god. god is the light that never comes

Can i apply this to solaris...that claiming deeper and deeper within the depths of solaris IS solaris itself...that is its signature.

you can apply this same space of cos ciousness idea to music and sections of a song. there are so many functions in music…and the middle part of the song, that feeling, that memory of a 2nd repeat IS the signature of that experience, and appears in the same space of consciousness.

and thus time is non-linear. and is always happening all at once in some sense.

i had this same thought when i was at rohan and kritis house - as i stare out into their large windows from the livng room, into the dark night. seeing and feeling the far away zest of the night time energy and the port lights...

that distance IS arising in the SAME space of consciousness. the "far away"ness IS an appearance in consciousness.

AND THIS IS EXACTLY LIKE WHAT I FEEL WHEN I LISTEN TO THAT EXAM SOUNDTRACK - THAT SYNTH OSTINATO BEHIND THE PIANO.

its essentially like a reverb function....

and ths has a whiff of it not being real or it being simply and appearance, but THAT ALSO MEANS THAT THERE WAS AN INTENTION TO PRODUCE THAT FUNCTION/APPEARANCE. THUS THOSE THE REALNESS GETS NULLIFIED, WHAT DOES THEN RESSURECT IS THE INTENT! AND THE FUNCTION! i wonder if THAT INTENT IS THUS A POINTER TO SOMETHING DEEP. THAT INTENT IS THE POINTER TO SOMETHING DEEP. THAT EXISTENCE WANTED TO PRODUCE THAT FAR AWAYNESS - REVEALS A DEEPER INTENT? LINK TO

— which IN TURN MAKES THAT FUNCTION EVEN STRONGER ACTUALLY COUNTER INTUITIVIELY! wow this is blowing my mind... like its something i would have never thought of before. like imagingins solaris and ikea...that space...that feeling...

locality...."illusion of locality"....and the fact that theres an illusion of locality counter intuitively actually makes locality more real simply by the fact that intention to produce the veil of locality exists. the intent to produce a physical world, with all its spaciousness and zest and complexity, makes the physical world more real than the fact of more real than the fact of the illusion of a physical world. that the intent to produce something because there is something deeply existential dark and mysterious about THAT INTENT usurps the dismissive argument of the world being an illusion. but then maybe to say the world is an illusion - that meaning of that statement - takes on a different form now. like now it doesnt sound so dismissive, but rather more interesting, and given what i just said about the intent actually consolidating the world and making the defintion of "real" turned on its head and more mysterious and consolidated, to say something is an illusion takes a different meaning. so to say "illusion" actually makes it more real in some snese, which is so fucking coo. because if someone or something produces an illusion - the intent could be because of something deeper...

"illusion can be more real than what's real"

AND IT IS SO COOL AND I LOVE LIFE FOR THIS FUCKING EXISTENTIAL LAYERING - MAKE INTO ITS OWN ESSAY. LIFE, REALITY IS EMBEDDED WITH LAYERS OF EXISTENTIAL TERRORS AND BEAUTIES, AND WHEN THINGS RESOLVE IT MAKES ME RESPECT REALITY MORE. LAYERS AND LAYERS OF DEEPER REALITIES.

real simple example is serjans art - it is just pixels on a screen, but is it? is it really?

like the signature of things being "over there and not here" is still happening here.

analogous to reverb in a music session. reverb gives space yet it is all still printed in "here and now".

as such the signature of any and all appearances in consciousness is subject to scrutiny.

even the signature of time and memory is—in that the feeling of something happening yesterday is itself a signature that can be implanted.

in dreams, i sometimes get the sensation that i had already experienced this many times before, been in that place, or that i've been there for a while, when in actuality it was only my first time, and for a short duration. or that it was the "2nd time" i was there, and that signature of 2nd is itself an appearance that can be implanted. (maybe signature of it hints in consciousness is a seperate essay, but maybe not—as it talks about how it's all in the here and now—and doesnt just apply to distance and space, but also time and linear time).