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existential size
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Dec 16, 2021 11:04 PM

as i play catan in ravi/jordan's place - holding and playing with the small road piece/ it's so small, and if it was any smaller i'd be disinterested. in some sense because i am small, i am granted the interest to play with this piece of wood.

maybe god made itself small because if it was so grand, then everything would be so small and pale in comparison- so maybe it would get bored .

but again...what is big and what is small...the small road piece is actually huge. relative to itself it's the biggest thing ever. the idea of big and small crumbles with the philosophy and idea that size is simply a perspective. jupiter isn't actually bigger than earth.

that is to say, the position of where you are in the universe affects the conditions of the surrounding objects. position affects the instrinsic nature of things. as you get closer to something, it gets bigger.

yes, if you stand equidistant between earth and jupiter- jupiter may be bigger- perhaps by that metric jupiter is bigger- if all else is equal- if position and observation measurement are the same, then jupiter would be bigger, perhaps that's how we measure if something is bigger...

but things aren't like that. as a matter of experience, earth is bigger than jupiter right now because i am on earth.

perhaps that's why rulers exist, because it follows an abstract universal standard of measurement.

equidistance is key...standing equally between earth and jupiter...that is to say, a universal perception between jupiter and earth...interesting...

if all perspectives shared a universal perspective we could then map out what is big and small then...

that's the key then..the overcoming of solipsistic conclusions - egocentricity - "my eyes see a flat land, i don't see curves, therefore earth is flat"..

because to me my sense of self is the biggest thing there is..


to everyone else, their sense of self is the biggest thing to them too..

is there a paradox here?

even a hair difference is a significant difference, for each piece of hair has millions of par to does in it. who is anyone to say a piece of hair is small and jupiter is big? for each entity is an entire universe with its own system of existence, a harmony of different entities working to produce an existence of an entity. is there truly a big or a small?

room universe - love this phrase. maybe maybe a new essay.

like when i stare up into the night time sky and into the universe/ cosmos the stars are actually ACTUALLY small white dots, not big things far away. it's a scary realization. and so the universe is actually super tiny. or that objects around me are big etc smaller or more far away_ @far

the magnification of my attention piuts my sense of self as the biggest thing, and everything else as small - thr concept of magnification of attention, and also of magnification itself. (ref: depersonalization, how i cant find myself yet i feel stuck in myself and that my sense of self feels bloated or magnified, or attention is drawn to it, black hole-esque; how my attention is having. hard time escaping this.