existential_179

existential_179

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losing something and finding it is better than never losing it at all- or at least reveals so much, links to negative framing
last edit
Nov 26, 2021 9:16 PM

i believe i may have wrote about this somewhere, when i lost my paper license or drivers permit document when i first got my drivers license or before or after the drivers test (think it was after). this was in boston during the summer when i was staying at wills house. and when i found it man i was so happy.

and thus one can use this as a function to render gratitude in ones mind. to pretend worse case scenarios than the one one is in currently is a beautiful mental excerise in revealing, by contrast, how sublime everything is.

but that does also suggest that things are wonky good insofar as there exist things that are bad. that is to say, if one is dulled or jaded by what one already has, it isn't necessarily invalid. for the quality of a thing is only quality insofar as what the mind things it is. if i purchase an expensive car and feel amazed by it for 6 months, but then feel a diminishing returns, it's not necessarily the case that i'm a spoilt soul. but rather, it suggests that the amazingness of a thing is tied to the time and place and context of ones life. it isn't fixed. it suggests an evolution in ones soul, and may lead him to either seek more materiality, or to slowly see the folly of all materiality, which is the inevitable outcome. idk if this was related or if this is branched to multiple essays or essay blocks.

talk more about this mental trick of

..

how powerful it is

how transformative it is...

theres beauty and love in it. appreciation for something rather than nothing.

geometry of thinking:

and putting symbols on the header of these notion databases, at first thinking it would add consolidation and design, was actually noise in the minimal perfect design, and to add them, then take them down, has shown how beautiful the minimal design is, grown my appreciation of it.

as such, the reason why i write this exampel is to show how this essay concept manfiests in other ways. i have expanded the width of this essay by doing so, talking bout othe rexamples expands the concept to other things.

and the reason i wrote about that^ is to show yoi how examples can broaden the width of something

and the reason i wrote that is

and to write about all this is to show you how spiraling the geometry of thinong is.

self referential in of itself.

same thing with switching settings, only to revert back. it comsolidates ones relationship t the original settings. thus there is a place in rying out new things, even when, or especially when, they actually dont yield anything and make you come back to the original thing. this reminds me of negative space in a way.

and thus to see life as having death at both ends isnt actually depressing. or to see like start and zero, end at zero, and with everything going negative (below zero) in between, isnt so bad, as it consolidates ones relation to the final zero.

abother example is to work super hard to become free, or to let go one one's ambitions at the end. one could argue that one could just do that now (sam harris says this - that it is the cessation of desire that is what we counteriniuitively desire.) - but it is onluy through experiencing and attaining things, can i then grow a bigger appreciation for the lightness of being and its freedom. this also remind sme of escaping the game. i could escape the game now couldnt i, and live in bliss. but i would feel like im below it and not abov eit. even if end result is the same, the heros journey is what i want, and to conquer it, and then to live in bliss, than to live in bliss now. it reframes the bliss in a way.

and thus it is better to have loved and lost than to not have ever loved at all.

and could be an existential answer to the question as to why we exist at all.

and a reason why being is good.