do i move up levels? or do i just see or get revealed to the sameness across levels as the one before...like if i am a famous director able to contact famous stars - i see them as just people, not as these big ivory tower celebrities. is moving up a level the same thing as just seems the emptiness or sameness in those people who were once up on that level? is it one and the same? could be that because i am so immersed in that mnext level that it feels the ame to me, but to an outsider it is WOW. thus to see the emptiness/sameness in things/levels is to be immersed in it completely maybe.
another example is guitar playing. i feel a sameness with all things i do...
and i write this another example because it widens th gamut of the concept i am exploring here
and writing about that feels like im breaking the fourth wall of essay writing. or the source code of the essay.
and i write this to to try and get the spiral of my thought process
and this feels self referential, to explore the spiral as i am in the spiral.
does it widen or narrow....