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things are only impressive on paper
last edit
Nov 26, 2021 9:17 PM

paper sun

like my accomplishments and achievements etc, and of any actor or any working man.

sound amazing on paper, but in reality in fluid subjective pathway through life, it really isn't that big of a deal, and isn't really that solid or consolidatory. what jim carrey said, fame is empty.

things are never as grand as they are expected to be, AND everything in reality is GRAND, in an existential way. and this is interesting. there is something to be said abotu this. that when one gets depressed or loses enthusiasm excitement, or depersonalized, one finds the constant revelation in ALL things, and what was once exciting is now normalized, but what is normal is now elevated into the sublime and divine. there a feeling of sameness in all things, a sort of ironing out of peaks and valleys, and this is both depressing but also enlightening. (new essay on depression vs. enlightenment and how they both seem one and the same.. ). that nothing excites me anymore, yet i feel the openness and mystery and beauty and revelation in all things. but in a deeper other dimension than societal or personal gratification of achievement.