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earning goodwill
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Jan 1, 2022 3:24 AM

therein lies a process of demonstrating aptitude first before gaining permission to explore art. to be given the right to truly experiment after earning self-confidence and goodwill from a listenership. otherwise, the work will risk being misunderstood. people may dismiss a most eccentric creation as uneducated noise, even though it is probably the best, most idiosyncratic, innovative work ever made.

perhaps a separate framework: fear of being misunderstood:

this is a problem sam harris faces

out of context interpretations

to understand where he is coming from

is to understand the universe of his thoughts

to pick one out of the entire node structure of his thinking

is to misrepresent it.

but it isn't obvious to me that it is fair that he should expect everybody to have known his entire frame of thinking.

so one must be caeful that each piece of work is crafted such that it pointa to something deeper.

that each piece be coherent.

and not something that cannot stand on its own and justify itself.

i have faced the exact same issue with refractions

navigation of space is not easy.


fear of being misudnerstood also runs rampant within oneself. i find myself intentionally cleaning up my notes and trails of myself for my future, self, out of fear that my future self will minsuderstand what my current self was trying to do or convey. that i spend a lot of time and anxiety trying to make things as clear as possible, as neat and organized sometimes. even as something as pedestrian as double spacing bullet points. but when i let go, it feels freeing, because there is a trust in my future self. a trust in myself rather. that i will understand myself. that i do understand myself, and my conveying intentions and thoughts. that i need not clean myself up for myself, or make standardized or polished for myself, for that actually robs information (remeber sriram saying to leave typos in) and liberty from me. i feel constrained (and tormented by my future self? ref?) by my desire to be as clear as possible, which actually can rob clarity and pure thought, and also efficiency. i can and should be able to write my notes in whatever fashion that makes sense to me. i ought to be free to, if not all othe rbeings, to myself at least. for my consciousness reigns supreme (ref).