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it blows my mind how anything exists at all

it blows my mind how anything exists at all... nothing makes sense. the philosophy here suggests that nothing should work, but yet it exists and it works. everything seems to be tied in. a miracle. i dont get it. if anything it just shows how strange and mysterious the world, our mind, and consciousness really is. there is more there there. there is an underlying mystery (link arcadia) at play here. real life is not so pedestrian.

rationally it could be that we shouldn't exist at all. i am still having a hard time wrapping around my head the idea of transcendence of existence vs. non-existence. the no dual reality, the merging of reality of is and isn't, still does not satisfy the quandary of BEING. the fact that my existence implies the existence of everything non-existent of me still does not answer why we exist.

the efficiency argument would also point to non-being. is it not the case non-existence is more efficient than to exist? perhaps the efficiency argument suggests that things are not solid - but rendered empty entities (less bandwidth)? make separate essay on this.

i don't understand. at least my rational brain down not understand. everything crumbles under nothingness. i fell into a black hole but i came back. i don't get it.

possible merge with