existential_063

existential_063

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in progress
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DARK
last edit
Jul 29, 2021 9:25 PM
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when they realize they win, everything in life becomes reduced to them cashing in on it, so everybody that comes in the way, even if it's a phone call, becomes an enemy. your ambitions blind you from reality. so everything becomes an obstacle, so you become irritable and paranoid on your way to cashing in.

The lottery effect: the feeling of anxiety and stalling of holding the ticket- the feeling of urgency of having to do something with it. That’s exactly how I feel.

affects relationship with objects arounf you. as i build this site, i want everything to be as sooth and polished as possible i genuinely feel like i have the lottery right now. so i feel the need to make sure all aspecs of my life, the elevator being fast and speedy etc, are all optimized. any small hiccup seems like an existential annoyance and catastrophe. along the stream of causality

when you have a perfect beautific vision front of you, every chain in the stream of causality becomes 100% paramount.

or just like in the middle of doing something and you don' want to get caught - you start seeing everyone around you as a source of paranoia. lens of paranoia. everything within purview seems to reveal that lens.