existential_085

existential_085

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in progress
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DARK
last edit
Aug 14, 2021 12:33 AM
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like stats. wrestle mania.

like comparing my body stats to that of an instagram bodybuilder.

like me having less stats than him but having more stats elsewhere

archetypes.

paths dangers strategies

one could say this is ONE resolution of reality. as your ambitions lead you blind to reality in general, as you start seeing people places and things as part of your trajectory/ambition.

but to see my mother as a character in my video game thwarts the fun i have of it. there is an underlying terror to this...not only a cheapening if my relationship wjth her, but my connection with her fades. i lose grip with reality and start seeing people as objects too.

there is a blurring of lines between what is object and what is person.

a blurring of the lines what is and isn't part of the game.

but also the dread of being alone, being self deception

  1. You are meant to have fun
  2. You're not meant to take it seriously
  3. The good guy always wins
  4. There are cheat codes, unlockables, etc

existential spectating a video game

there's something existential about being in the spectator mode of a video game...like in golf with friends or counter strike. no self. free floating. blissful witnessing. indifferent. respawning. waiting lobby.