existential_139

existential_139

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DARK
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Jul 5, 2021 10:47 PM
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it really does come down to opportunity cost. that is more expensive than cost itself. more money, more problems. more potential, more potential for deleting potential.

neil de grasse tyson could have read his own audiobook, but he didnt, he hired someone else.

now in an absolute sense, he is doing just fine, and releasing the book and audiobook is a net positive for him.

but one could argue (as joe rogan probs thinks) it is absoltely a devasting move, bad business decision to have had someone elese reading his book. he forgoed all that potential of people listening to HIM.

if i had to spend a million dollars fo the solaris album, i would. but because i have the option of listening to it for free, i wont, and it doesnt take away anything from the depths i feel of solaris.

opportunity cost is more expensive than cost itself. one aspect is mental bandwidth. having to DECIDE what to do with money is so taxing.

and also, this is a big one for me, whenever i made a decision over another possible decision, in making music, or a business move or otherwise, i ALWAYS get this sensation that i have lost "what would have been" with the other decision, and i also get the sensation that "if only i did that t would be better!" or that that decision was actually beautiful and i should have gone with that, and this framework of mind is compeltely prevelavent no matter what decision i made, so even if i did go with that other decision, i would have had those same sensations and inclinations with this decision...so you cant win..BUT with this wisdom in mind, i can actually use this philosophy to deflate the anxiety, because knowing this, i can curb this feeling. because there is nothing i could have done to prevent it. be more obhjective over how i am feeling and remind myself of the prevelant nature of this sensation, and this actually curbs that feeling, and allows me to feel good about the choice i made, like im able to get more of an understanding.

tbh this is a sensation i also get with girls. every girl is her own universe. and so i always think of the "what would have been" if i had just tried to approach the girl and ask her out, date her and have a life with her. and so all those worlds are destroyed everytime i dont get that with all women i encounter. every woman is its own universe....a plethora of life and experiences..that gt destroyed.

and this actually is a big problem for in compositon. i truly wish i could explore and release as many permutations of an idea i can. and i think i will. with this website..i am free with format. no rules, no governence, no appeasing "what ought to be" with how to release music, and institutions like spotify.

like i want to squeeze out every bit of optimization. every drop.