existential_036

existential_036

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Aug 20, 2021 2:36 AM
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I assume I am living this life right now as if it was my first time, I had never lived it before. What if we are living in a repeated universe? How do I know I am living this life for the first time? Imagine if we’re living under some program that allows one to choose what program of life they want before their born, and they choose the exact same one. What does living the same existence twice change about our perception of life itself.

That is to say, What would the fact that you’ve lived the exact same life before, and that this is simply a repeat of the same life, exchange about the nature of this life? Would it render it meaningless? Would it make life absurd? Would it make life less serious and therefore fun? We read books again, listen to the same song again, why wouldn’t one choose to be born in the same existence again?

But there is a paradox here. Despite the fact that materially it’s the same exact thing. The hypothical memory of  knowing that you’ve lived this before changes something. (wouldnt the hypothetical memory though be part of the lived life repeat though...so creates an infinite regress..so you cant ever prove if this life is a repetition or not, its an unproveable claim, because to be able to have the memory of or to have proof that this life is a repeat is to negate the fact alltogether, since it is a distinct sigature and means its not a repeat. relates to godels incompleteness theorum. this feels somewhat terrifying. but the simplest explanatio (occams razor) would suggest that 1) this life is new, no repeat, and 2) it cant be repeatable. relates to essay on

, like the signature of identifying myself as the passeger of the boat is itself a part of the boat experience? so the idea of different souls with tickets to boat experinces makes nos ense. what part of me is the passenger here. and if there is a passenger, wouldnt that signature of me be a part of the boat? and what does it look like to a non-passenger. feelings of anonymous consciousnes..)

-godel

-unfallisable

-can be applied to insanity right now. i dont know if i am insane or not. and cant prove otherwise.

At first it seems like it would be existential horror to hear things as if thir the first time over and over again. but would it? you would not know that you are, but virtue of it being the first time over and over, you cant know rememeber the previous "first" time, for that additive layer of knowing is by definition a change of experience.

Actually zooming out, one could argue that nothing ever truly repeats. That everything is happening for the first time. Since every repeat carries with it a different signature. There is no such thing as truly experiencing something for the first time again, that’s a contradicition.It’s impossible to have the same experience of listening to the same song for the first time again, it’s a contradiction. The second time is different, and third..Imagine the horrific, existential dread you would feel if you were living each moment, knowing fo. So experientially, nothing repeats, and everything happens for the first time.a permanent deja vu. There appears to be a paradox here. If you were reliving a moment as if it were the first time, with no memory, that would BE the same thing as just living it for the first time. If you knew you were “repeating the same” event over and over again, it wouldn’t actually BE a repetition of the same event, because you’ve introduced a meta layer here. The meta layer being that youre aware of the fact that’s repeating, which actually means the experience is different, but what if the awareness of the repeated event is itself a repition. But if you were aware of this awareness, the meta-meta layer renders a different experience. So if you were living in a simulation of real life, would the realization that youre in a simulation be part OF the simulation? If so, then would the realization that the realization of the simulationis part of a simulation is itself a simulation also be a part of the simulation? Is the realization that What we now have here is an infinite regress ladies and gentlemen. Or perhaps its transendant. Because knowing that youre dreaming in the dream, sure, is part of the dream, but it’s a meta layer, this meta layer is independent  of the dream itself, you’ve gained access to a transcendent consciousness that is beyond the dream itself, and isn’t part of the nest of the dream. Every moment you exist, your atoms are changing, you yourself are never truly constant over time. Ev I guess it’s the degree to which things change.

but also even if i had no memory of this happening before, that i was run into the same prgram without my memory, it still wouldnt be the same, by virtue of the syntax of language, or of time. the definition of repeated means it is the same thing but fixated in a placement that is rooted in a space/time after the first time. the 2nd time something happens by definition is in a different spacetime, which renders the whole idea of "true repeat" MOOT. but is this pedantic? in terms of like practical experience, it would be the same, and thats the horror i guess. just in a different part of a grid..(infinite grid?) (but doesnt infinite nullify all numbers and placements into one thing?)

so everything repeats, yet nothing truly repeats...

so in essence, you realy are hearing everything for the first time, every experience fresh nd new. despite hearing a repeated pattern over time, it never is the same, because you change.

so there really is no such thing as repeats on one order of being, but there is on another. often some philsophers liek sam harris say shit like you are consstantly changing and are not the same person you were net month cause of cells completel regenerated and shit. so you coudld then derive from that that me seeing my dad after a few weeks is a different person completely - yu would be right. you cant deny that everything about my dad is differet. but thats just it isnt it - eveyrthing ABOUT MY DAD is different. the underlying operater staying the sameyou can only relate differences in something to something that has stayed the same. my dad may be different, but the thing is. my mind, my senses, nor my intentions can RESOLVE this difference, nor should it. imagine if i followed this bad philsoophy and then treated my dad like a complete stranger. or equal to everyone else. the idea is of RESOLUTION.

so you could zoom in and out of resolution. its true that cars on the highway never repeat, if you zoom in like that then nothing truly repeats. but existentially fi you zoom out more and more, you find repetition emergent protpertes in nature. so you can frame the sounds from the cars on the highway as repeeting, as similar textures and horns and function.

—-

Memory appears to be the driving factor that influences the signature of my experience with every new repeat, whether it is a musical idea, song, or a film. I always wish I could hear a song again for the first time. And because I am strange, I like watching the same film over and over again, picking up on different things along the way. so memory not only functions to remind me what what I have heard, but also functions to free up bandwidth of attention for me to pick up on new things from a repeated exposure.

//on/off phenomenon

So memory not only functions to remind us what what we have heard, but also functions to free up bandwidth of attention for us to pick up on new things from a repeated exposure. Watching the same movie again frees up mental bandwidth for my attention to notice other aspects/pathways of a fil (ref bandwidth of attention, pathways of a song) (ref essay on resolution, or make new one, if we had full resolution, would we ever need to hear th same song again? and the answer is still yes! because of this essay, repetition is not just carbon copy sameness, it actually has a property that extends outside of the motif itself!)-i need to drill in the idea that each motif repeat has a truly distict sound/feel to it, almost like a spiral(ref), placement on the spiral. or rewritten - it actually creates a property of the motif that extends outside of the motif. - which i think is time and place -but maybe more... existentially, the time and place/placement/position in space of such motif has everything to do with the motif itself. so just by the fact of something appearing in and out of consciousness changes that very thing itself? so does that mean if consciousness goes on and off, that there is something outside consciousness? or to ground it in earth, is this proof of an afterlife? to have a body that didnt exist before with no consciousness, then became conscious, only to die with no consciousness - consciousness on/off - indiciates a property of consciousness that extends outside of itself, the on/off property of consciosuness indiciates that theres something outside of it (or outsie of the human) that governs it - wrong word maybe..that theres a property of a persons life that goes beyond their life. or human life. on/off indicates something transcending on/off. is to have perfect resolution of my dad sounds like a mentally-viable thing to think about at first, but when it comes in again, i know him more, and differetnlym gues through the passage of time and sacredness of time. so just by the fact of something appearing in and out of consciousness changes that very thing itself? so theres always something more of something based n

eadmill theory of reality could have been written as my bedroom is nothig more than a repeted emergnt property of consciousness that comes n and off..and that its part of a modular compartmentalized serioes of on and off switches. bedroom goes on and off, kitchen goes on and off, bathroom goes on and off..;

another essay: sounds the same but feels different? thus music is not just audio waves. wow - it is a play of memory. a philosophy of push pull.

another essay: sounds the same but feels different? thus music is not just audio waves. wow - it is a play of memory. a philosophy of push pull.

to say something did happen ito then make into two - it happening and you having a memory of it happeing. so if memory and repetition are synemomous, then to think it in your mind is akin to it happening agai - which is true in some sense. but if you say it didnt happen, o that it doesnt exist anymore. so events are not one time things, but repeated events in nature? for a thing to have happened, for an event to have happened, to have it be registered somewhere, it to also have the abilityt o recollect the event somehow, either through a egistry, thorugh future projections, or through memory projections. so to say something did happen or will happen is always to split thing into two things,,,...?

I am nothing but a repeat of all other human beings, with the added fractional variant (ah yes but thats on one zoom level...which is an arbirtrary zoom level...if i zoom in more and more ill find a universe of differences in people...its a fallacy to say that we are so linked to monkeys, 1% gene difference etc, because thats on the macroscopic level, but look at where we are on this zoom level, monkeys look very different, and we dont socialize with them etc, and as you zoom more and more youll find more differeces. so statistics are victim to framing. but if you zoom in more nad more and more i may arrive back at the same conclusion of the very beginning- of being one...all is on and the same.) are nothing but repeats with fractional variants. Not just humans but all creatures. And perhaps with panpyschism (new essay), all things, thus everything is the same thing as everything else (also another essay) We truly are all repeats of each other, with slight degrees of nuance. I am a repeat of you. A humbling realization.

And perhaps with panpyschism (new essay), all things, thus everything is the same thing as everything else (also another essay)

also search "enigma" in documents folder of computer

What if I am living in a repeated universe? We assume we’re living life right now as if we had never lived it before. How do I know I am living this life for the first time? Imagine if we’re living under some program that allows one to choose what program of life they want before their born, and they choose the exact same one. What does living the same existence twice change about our perception of life itself.

That is to say, What would the fact that you’ve lived the exact same life before, and that this is simply a repeat of the same life, exchange about the nature of this life? Would it render it meaningless? Would it make life absurd? Would it make life less serious and therefore fun? We read books again, listen to the same song again, why wouldn’t one choose to be born in the same existence again?

But there is a paradox here. Despite the fact that materially it’s the same exact thing. The hypothical memory of  knowing that you’ve lived this before changes something. (wouldnt the hypothetical memory though be part of the lived life repeat though...so creates an infinite regress..so you cant ever prove if this life is a repetition or not, its an unproveable claim, because to be able to have the memory of or to have proof that this life is a repeat is to negate the fact alltogether, since it is a distinct sigature and means its not a repeat. relates to godels incompleteness theorum. this feels somewhat terrifying. but the simplest explanatio (occams razor) would suggest that 1) this life is new, no repeat, and 2) it cant be repeatable. relates to essay on

, like the signature of identifying myself as the passeger of the boat is itself a part of the boat experience? so the idea of different souls with tickets to boat experinces makes nos ense. what part of me is the passenger here. and if there is a passenger, wouldnt that signature of me be a part of the boat? and what does it look like to a non-passenger. feelings of anonymous consciousnes..)

-godel

-unfallisable

-can be applied to insanity right now. i dont know if i am insane or not. and cant prove otherwise.

At first it seems like it would be existential horror to hear things as if thir the first time over and over again. but would it? you would not know that you are, but virtue of it being the first time over and over, you cant know rememeber the previous "first" time, for that additive layer of knowing is by definition a change of experience.

Actually zooming out, one could argue that nothing ever truly repeats. That everything is happening for the first time. Since every repeat carries with it a different signature. There is no such thing as truly experiencing something for the first time again, that’s a contradicition.It’s impossible to have the same experience of listening to the same song for the first time again, it’s a contradiction. The second time is different, and third..Imagine the horrific, existential dread you would feel if you were living each moment, knowing fo. So experientially, nothing repeats, and everything happens for the first time. There appears to be a paradox here. If you were reliving a moment as if it were the first time, with no memory, that would BE the same thing as just living it for the first time. If you knew you were “repeating the same” event over and over again, it wouldn’t actually BE a repetition of the same event, because you’ve introduced a meta layer here. The meta layer being that youre aware of the fact that’s repeating, which actually means the experience is different, but what if the awareness of the repeated event is itself a repition. But if you were aware of this awareness, the meta-meta layer renders a different experience. So if you were living in a simulation of real life, would the realization that youre in a simulation be part OF the simulation? If so, then would the realization that the realization of the simulationis part of a simulation is itself a simulation also be a part of the simulation? Is the realization that What we now have here is an infinite regress ladies and gentlemen. Or perhaps its transendant. Because knowing that youre dreaming in the dream, sure, is part of the dream, but it’s a meta layer, this meta layer is independent  of the dream itself, you’ve gained access to a transcendent consciousness that is beyond the dream itself, and isn’t part of the nest of the dream. Every moment you exist, your atoms are changing, you yourself are never truly constant over time. Ev I guess it’s the degree to which things change.

so everything repeats, yet nothing truly repeats...

so in essence, you realy are hearing everything for the first time, every experience fresh nd new. despite hearing a repeated pattern over time, it never is the same, because you change.

so there really is no such thing as repeats on one order of being, but there is on another. often some philsophers liek sam harris say shit like you are consstantly changing and are not the same person you were net month cause of cells completel regenerated and shit. so you coudld then derive from that that me seeing my dad after a few weeks is a different person completely - yu would be right. you cant deny that everything about my dad is differet. but thats just it isnt it - eveyrthing ABOUT MY DAD is different. the underlying operater staying the sameyou can only relate differences in something to something that has stayed the same. my dad may be different, but the thing is. my mind, my senses, nor my intentions can RESOLVE this difference, nor should it. imagine if i followed this bad philsoophy and then treated my dad like a complete stranger. or equal to everyone else. the idea is of RESOLUTION.

so you could zoom in and out of resolution. its true that cars on the highway never repeat, if you zoom in like that then nothing truly repeats. but existentially fi you zoom out more and more, you find repetition emergent protpertes in nature. so you can frame the sounds from the cars on the highway as repeeting, as similar textures and horns and function.

—-

Memory appears to be the driving factor that influences the signature of my experience with every new repeat, whether it is a musical idea, song, or a film. I always wish I could hear a song again for the first time. And because I am strange, I like watching the same film over and over again, picking up on different things along the way. so memory not only functions to remind me what what I have heard, but also functions to free up bandwidth of attention for me to pick up on new things from a repeated exposure.

So memory not only functions to remind us what what we have heard, but also functions to free up bandwidth of attention for us to pick up on new things from a repeated exposure. Watching the same movie again frees up mental bandwidth for my attention to notice other aspects/pathways of a fil (ref bandwidth of attention, pathways of a song) (ref essay on resolution, or make new one, if we had full resolution, would we ever need to hear th same song again? and the answer is still yes! because of this essay, repetition is not just carbon copy sameness, it actually has a property that extends outside of the motif itself!). or rewritten - it actually creates a property of the motif that extends outside of the motif. - which i think is time and place. existentially, the time and place/placement/position in space of such motif has everything to do with the motif itself. so just by the fact of something appearing in and out of consciousness changes that very thing itself? to have perfect resolution of my dad sounds like a mentally-viable thing to think about at first, but when it comes in again, i know him more, and differetnlym gues through the passage of time and sacredness of time. so just by the fact of something appearing in and out of consciousness changes that very thing itself? so theres always something more of something based n

another essay: sounds the same but feels different? thus music is not just audio waves. wow - it is a play of memory. a philosophy of push pull.

another essay: sounds the same but feels different? thus music is not just audio waves. wow - it is a play of memory. a philosophy of push pull.

to say something did happen ito then make into two - it happening and you having a memory of it happeing. so if memory and repetition are synemomous, then to think it in your mind is akin to it happening agai - which is true in some sense. but if you say it didnt happen, o that it doesnt exist anymore. so events are not one time things, but repeated events in nature? for a thing to have happened, for an event to have happened, to have it be registered somewhere, it to also have the abilityt o recollect the event somehow, either through a egistry, thorugh future projections, or through memory projections. so to say something did happen or will happen is always to split thing into two things,,,...?