existential_255

existential_255

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DARK
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Aug 14, 2021 12:09 AM
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might want to break essay into three : consciousness against reality (apocalyptic nature of being) and reality bring maladaptive your evolution - and also self deception of god

Things do fall down, but through conscious effort, they come up too.

There is an apocalyptic nature to being/my reality- unless through concentrated action-that is to say unless there is a consciousness- things will default to breaking down. it's easier to break things than to fix them.

interesting though, in reality it is easier to break things than to fix them. but once this catalysts and triggers consciousness to fix it, consciousness becomes more expanded or fixed- in the sense that it is now able to permeate this newfound fixedness to other places i. reality.

We appear to be in opposition to reality at all times- unless you call your friend regularly, it is the default state to have that friendship fade into nothingness. Even an enemy- the animosity you feel towards someone defaults into nothing after an infinite amount of time. stretches of distance and time dampens things.

Annihilation is what appears to be the default state, and consciousness is the opposition of it.

it's almost as if consciousness created reality to challenge itself, to force exertion and conscious effort.

like so many examples in which reality is in opposition with consciousness- referencing don hoffman's case against reality. my essays. how many things are not what they seem etc. suffering

We hold on to many assumptions about reality that comfort us and work for our lives. But many truths about the universe may actually be counterintuitive and maladaptive to evolution. Perhaps the illusion of free will and a sense of self are products of evolution, designed to make conscious minds competitive instead of at ease with an empty universe. An active, non-contemplative approach to life would have probably served the hunter gatherer better. Those who meditated would have starved or been eaten alive.

it's almost as if consciousness created reality to challenge itself

like so many examples in which reality is in opposition with consciousness- referencing don hoffman's case against reality. my essays. how many things are not what they seem etc. suffering

Why is immediate reality seemingly false? But through further analysis, this isnt a faut of the objects, byt rather my assumptions and beliefs in them.

Through further analysis, this isnt a faut of the objects, byt rather my assumptions and beliefs in them. I am the one who must adapt to what is true- not the other way around.

the idea of self deception- god decieves itself, makes itself forget its nature so it can have fun in the universe- with all these illusions.

because to be god at all times would be boring and terrifying.

consciousness is reality destroying. cause observation makes us aware of how illusory many things are.

the fear of consciousness is the beginning of all wisdom.

if the universe is deterministic and selfless...how is it that a self deterministic system can give rise to an entity that thinks it's a self that has free will? how and why?- perhaps as a function of evolution and competition

where in causality does this map-

separate essay?

As I read parallel perception-

aWe born live and die alone

It’s almost as if the reality and world we are born in is a mirror- a complete opposite of what we actually are.

We are born as social beings that need others, we are born with social capacities- and if you don’t have it, evolution will castrate you out.

But the real you is alone.

Reality is maladaptive to evolution. If you truly were awake and enlightened, you probably would be taken off the gene pool- which is interesting... you’d be dead.

So we choose to be born in a world of illusion- but I like to say a world of play. We are playing with being. And if you can wake up then you can lice in a detached sort of bliss- without fear. I guess there wouldn’t be a point to life if you always wanted to be awake all the time.

So death is awakefullness, real life, and life sleep, is death in some sense.

Like the existential nature of who we are (consciousness) is diametric to the condition of our material world

Or perhaps like ying and yang..you need them both for both to exist..

Someone who is a drug addict, or doesn’t want to work, is lazy, no effort to explore.

These are things that go against conasciousness

And they are conasciousness

So with more consciousness, or more awarensss of one’s being, - they could pull themselves out

So everything is against the nature of consciousness, and we’re trying to get back to it?

as i contemplate the idea that the floor only exists as the base level only in relation to the roof..and that there is a prior reality behind it--to realize consciousness is to destroy reality...or the reality as i once knew it..armageddon is the end of the works as we know it.

we have diseases. consciousness seeks to eradicate this. we get dirty. consciousness builds showers for us. etc

As I watch up in the air, during the cold feet scene where Jim is discussing how he’s thinking about the wedding, buying house, having a kid, another kid…etc.

All this ressosibility and commitment. It seems like the anthesis of what reality is to me..

But like…we need evolution and kids to move into the future, to search for ultimate reality, but if reality is amaldative to this process of evolution…the seems counterintuitive…maladaptive….

Does this link with the idea of backwards causality?

Idk I think I’m all over the place…

There just seems to be a ton of contradictions na paradoxes of reality

How Sam Harris says that evolution has made us in such a way that is not the reality,

Because reality would be maladaptive for our survival.

I find that deeply existential.

A clear example of this is memory.

Imagine a being with no memory- simply is in the present moment- no last or future.

He’d Get eaten alive.

from the contrast essay- The other mysterious thing about this exist-by-contrast framework is that there is an element of deception at play here. Why do things around me parade themselves as discrete entities? it is more so that it is my assumptions of my perceptions that are incorrect. the fault lies with me and my mind, not with reality. it's not so much that the fork is pretending to exist- no, i can see very clearly upon further awareness and analysis that the anti existence of the fork matters as well- and this isn't actually hidden from me .

The mysterious thing about this exist-by-contrast framework is that there is an element of deception at play here. Why do things around me parade themselves as discrete entities?

In some sense, everything carries with it an underbelly of darkness.

with higher consciousness comes the higher capacity to destroy itself. - this can sort of link to what jordan peterson says about how a true saint is someone who has the capacity to d9 evil but chooses not to. i wonder if god is like that, the perfect being able to destroy everything instantly, but chooses not to...

god is super lonely, bored and depressed.

so he invented himself infinite times and calls it “people”. we are all god pretending to not be god. so that god can enjoy the illusion of not being alone, of not being eternally trapped in its sole existence, of its perpetual blankness of being.

it's easier to make a healthy person unhealthy, than it is to make an unhealthy person healthy.

DARK

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