i want my guitar playing to degrade in a way.

i am curious to see where it goes.

i am just as much fascinated by annihilation and decay as I am by development and perfectionism.

there is a certain beauty in it.

a beauty in decay

a depth to decay

an iridescence in noise.

in losing control.

there is beauty and terror in losing control.

the music that comes out of it will have a certain quality to it.

a character.

a vibe.

a touch.

a poetic quality to it.

a refinement of a craft is to degrade it as well.

seems like a paradox.

but it is not.

reality is non-linear.

to go forward is to go backwards sometimes.


to see the essence and beauty in what i once stepped over.

and it is in my nature to lose control eventually.

to lose my nervous system.

to die of old age.

i want to explore it before it explores me.

and i love frank iero's guitar playing.

see this manfests sometimes in design. companies line apple go back to older designs as part of them moving forward. like colored imacs an homage to the old cubes etc. trajectory is strange.

there is a real skill i wish to cultivate in finding the subtle, implicit, non-obvious beauty, complexity and intelligence in what i once dismissed as imperfect guitar playing.

progress sometimes means going back to what you once stepped over.